March 2009-Finding Redemption

I recently Googled myself and there it was, staring me in the face—my time from last year’s Freezefest 5K. Sometimes a bad race sticks with you. I remember sitting in the back of the room after the race, feeling dejected, not wanting to see or talk to anyone.

Greg Bodeker had told me that every time I had trouble getting up early in the morning to go run, I should remember how I felt on that day and use it to motivate me. I never forgot that. Thanks, Greg.

The morning of this year’s Freezefest I scribbled the word “redemption” on the palm of my hand. I often write a word or phrase on my body before a race to motivate me. I knew I shouldn’t put such emphasis on a 5K race—a fun run for most people—but this race had become significant to me. It really was about redemption, redeeming myself, proving that what I did last year wasn’t me. I could be stronger, faster, better.

Earlier that week I had gone on a run before work. I had a 4-mile route mapped out. Somehow I headed down the wrong street and got turned around in the dark. Okay, I was lost. I eventually found Oakland Road and my way back home, but my 4-mile run turned into 5.43 miles. Was this a sign of things to come?

Freezefest morning had finally arrived. I put on my lucky SpongeBob boxer shorts. As the race drew closer, I began to pace like a caged animal. I couldn’t wait to get out there. Soon I was standing among a group of people and we were off!

My legs felt tight and I couldn’t get in a rhythm. “Just keep Rosie in your sights,” I told myself, ignoring the fact that our club prez has a pace two minutes faster than mine. Soon she was a spec in the distance. Okay, how about that speed walker or that old guy? There had to be someone out here I could beat.

“Just concentrate on yourself,” I told myself. “Go faster.” My legs weren’t listening. As my fellow club members ran by, they yelled out words of encouragement to me. It meant so much that they supported me. I wasn’t out here alone.

As I began the last mile, I pulled off my glove and looked at the “redemption” written on my hand. “If you want to redeem yourself, then you finish strong,” I ordered myself. There was a guy running six feet behind me and I decided he would be the one I would beat, no matter what. In my head I imagined that he was just waiting to make his move and try to take me, like we were racing on the beach in “Chariots of Fire.” As I headed into the parking lot, I made one last glance behind me. Victory was mine.

I bettered last year’s time by three minutes. I had hoped for six, but maybe that was overly ambitious. Baby steps, Lori, baby steps. There would be no moping this year. I knew my time wouldn’t impress anyone, but I had improved and that meant something to me. I had not given up or let setbacks prevent me from trying to be better. This was my first event of the season and I had a whole summer to prove I belonged here. I found my redemption.

April 2008-No Failure, Only Feedback

What divides people who quit from people who never quit? They certainly both go through failures and set-backs. What makes one person give up and another keep going?

Fellow club member Margo took photos at the recent Freezefest 5K. There’s a picture of me after the race. Let’s just say, I wasn’t a happy camper. I had a bad run and afterwards I just wanted to be alone, questioning why I kept trying to do this crazy sport.

The voices of negativity in my head can be pretty loud. It's easy to get down on yourself when you don't get the performance you want and think, "maybe I just can't do it."

I know I have a right to be disappointed. I have a right to feel bad when things don't go the way I wanted, or I feel like I failed. However, I give myself a limit on how long I can feel sorry for myself. After a certain amount of time, I say, "Okay, the pity party is over. What are you going to do to fix this? What are you doing to do to have better results?"

The following is a quote that I have often read in fitness books. "Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat."

It's better to take a risk, to try and to keep trying, then to wonder why you never took a chance.

One of the quotes that has always stuck with me throughout my life is, "I don't regret the things I've done, only the things I haven't done." I've made my share of mistakes and it's easy to say I would have done some things differently. The mistakes you make in life, however, shape who you are as a person. At the end, when you look back at the history of your life, your real regrets will be the things that you didn't do. I don't want to think that I never tried, or that I quit when I should have kept going.

One of the great things I have read is that "there is no failure, only feedback." You don't "fail" you only get results. People who don't quit know that when they try something and it doesn't work, it is not a permanent failure. They say, "I produced a result and it's only temporary." They mentally process what happened as a learning experience and as feedback, not failure.

If you learn from the experience, don't repeat what doesn't work and keep trying, you will eventually find what does work and you will succeed. That can apply to your training and to anything you try to achieve.

As you head into these final weeks before you begin your season, remember that. The obstacles and set-backs are only temporary. They are just a crook in the road until you find the real path you need to take. No failure, only feedback.